Youth Development

» kristinem - Teaching an Old Dog new Tricks....

After reading this article, I took a moment (or two) to reflect on MY childhood (I have 3 sisters) and compare how my children are being raised. Growing up in a house of all women, we were raised to do it all. Sure, we did dishes and vacuuming and dusting, but also took the trash out, mowed the lawn and took our own cars in for rpairs or inspection. 5 girls and one man in a house sure taught us how to take care of ourselves. Our father cooked dinner every night, and he helped out with chaperoning school trips and projects, taught us how to change a lightbulb, fix a flat tire etc etc.
Now, as a mom of 2 boys and 2 girls, i feel it is important to share those same ideals. I have the girls (at least the ones that are old enough....) do dishes, carry in heavy grocery bags, take the trash out, etc. My oldest daughter (11) loves to go fishing with her dad. She rides horses and plays an instrument. She volunteers her time for charity (as ALL of my children will as they get older)and we encourage her to find what she likes to do so she can excel.
One of my sisters is an estimator for my dads construction company (stereotypically a "mans" job) and she gets a lot of support from the family.
The best thing I feel I can do for my kids is surround them with people and environments that are positive and non-stereotypical, as stereotypes are learned by watching others.
Funny thing is that now MY husband cooks dinner and the boys are encouraged to help and watch.
Comparatively, my house growing up was all girls, but we had a LOT of boy toys as well. We had Barbies, trucks, skateboards (my daughter has a skateboard too...) dress-ups (womens AND mens) and the like. Now with a house of mixed genders there are still plenty of options for our kids, and we do not wince if our baby boys wear a pretty bracelet. If one of the girls puts on a bracelet we say "aw pretty!" and if one of the boys puts one on we say the same thing. One time I was putting my makeup on, and my 4 year old son was watching me and asked if I would put some on him, and I said absolutely! How does he know that only girls typically wear makeup? He would only think that if I told him that. If one of my boys gets hurt, I console and comfort just as I would if it were one of the girls.
In my house, the only thing different about each child is their personality. Boy or girl is of no importance.
Kristine

-- posted by kristinem

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» Susan Carney - Teaching an Old Dog new Tricks....

In response to Teaching an Old Dog new Tricks.... posted by kristinem:

I completely agree. Since I have boy/girl twins, it is even more stunningly clear when I see people treat them differently based solely on their gender. There is definitely an expectation with some people that my daughter is more "fragile", and I have to work hard to make sure that these assumptions that people have don't limit my kids in any way. Thanks for your comments!

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» RFecho - My Gentle Pirate

I was so thrilled when I caught my son decked out in "pirate gear," sitting on the couch pretending to feed two baby dolls. When you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, he will tell you either Spiderman or Tinkerbell. I love it. Their unlce is in a rock band, and is also a stay-at-home dad, and they idolize him for both of those things! I've always tried to choose my words carefully (mail carrier, etc.) and I too think it is not trivial, but very important. Having 2 older boys and 2 younger girls, we have the advantage of having a lot of toys that are considered both for "boys" and "girls," and they all seem to play with all of them, regardless of whether it is a Hotwheels car or kitchen set. The funny (not-so-funny) thing is that most of them gifts (the "boy toys" given to my boys, and the "girl toys" to my girls). I catch myself all the time saying to my girls how cute and pretty and sweet they are, and I don't think I called my boys those things quite so often! I am trying to work on that, calling them smart and funny and strong, too, but it is so ingrained! Our society has a long way to go before we reach true gender equality in all aspects, but the most important place to start changing things is by what we do and say at home, from a very early age.

-- posted by RFecho

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