Youth Development

Posted by Susan Carney

Researchers from the Yale University School of Medicine recently reviewed research on bullying behavior from 13 countries, and found not only a link between suicidal thoughts and bullying victims, as would be expected. They also found a link between suicidal thoughts and bulliers, as well. (Tara Parker-Pope, "With Bullying, Suicide Risk for Victims and Tormentors", NY Times, July 18, 2008).

These findings appear to me to be evidence of what I have always believed: that most kids who bully other have significant problems of their own, of which bullying is just one component. Its tempting to just say, “oh, he’s just a rotten kid.” But it may be more important to ask, “What’s going on with him that’s making him behave that way?

Bullies may be the victims of bullying themselves. They may have significant home issues which impact their ability to develop satisfying social relationships with other kids. They may have poor role models for how to handle conflicts. They may have problems with depression or anxiety, or suffer from undiagnosed learning problems. Whatever.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that when kids have unaddressed issues, it often impacts their self-esteem and sense of power. And for many kids, feeling powerless and bad about yourself are the two main ingredients that make a bully. I don’t believe that it is the bullying per se that may be causing kids to be suicidal. Rather, bullying and suicidal ideation are probably side effects of other, deeper problems that need to be addressed. In any case, it certainly means that we need to do a better job of helping our kids, before they feel the need to resort to either.

For more on bullying prevention, please see Bullying in Schools or Strategies to Prevent Bullying, or Bullying and Teens.

Posted by Susan Carney

A recent study found that TV background noise may be disruptive to children's development. The study, done at the University of Massachussett, studied 50 kids between 1 and 3 years of age. The study was done in two trials: during one, kids played for an hour while a television set played in the background; during the other, the TV set was off.

The findings? “Background TV significantly reduced toy play episode length as well as focused attention during play. Thus, background television disrupts very young children's play behavior even when they pay little overt attention to it. These findings have implications for subsequent cognitive development.” (Schmidt, Pempek, Kirkorian, Lund and Anderson, The Effects of Background Television on the Toy Play Behavior of Very Young Children, Child Development, volume 79, issue 4, pp 1137-1151)



Considering how many kids play while TV’s are blaring in the background, the implications for this study are significant. Recently there’s been a lot of press about kids under 3 watching TV, and even that has been hard for a lot of parents to swallow. Now, things are even direr: don’t even let them in the same room with a TV!



But I have to wonder about this study in the context of older kids and teens, who are receiving visual and auditory stimulation from a variety of media (TVs, internet, cellphones, computer, ipods, etc.) Often, teens are electronically “multitasking,” or operating several types of electronics at the same time. Perhaps they are watching a movie on their computer and texting a friend at the same time. Or maybe they are burning a CD of their favorite tunes while watching TV AND researching the internet for a term paper. What kind of an impact does all of this have on THEIR attention and cognitive development?

Posted by Susan Carney

The Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth (CAMY) released last month a report summarizing their findings over the past seven years. It said, among other things, that “youth exposure to alcohol advertising on television has risen by 38% since the Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth began monitoring this exposure in 2001.” (Youth Exposure to Alcohol Advertising on Television 2001-2007, CAMY.)

In a culture where our teens face alcohol related dangers such as drunken driving, violence, and sexual assault, this fact is a disgraceful example of our society’s priorities. Trademarked teen immaturity and poor judgment, coupled with a lack of training in media awareness, make teens prime targets of advertisers who wish to exploit their vulnerabilities to make a quick buck.

Consider this: In 2007 "40% of youth exposure to alcohol advertising on television came from ads placed on youth-oriented programming, that is, programs with disproportionately large audiences of 12-to-20-year-olds.” (Ibid.) To me, that indicates intentional targeting of kids. It isn’t just a matter of kids watching adults programs and stumbling upon beer commercials.

There are things we can do. Make sure you explain to your kids how marketing works, and how they are targeted because of their age, fat wallets, and the belief that they are easy prey. For more on this topic, please see Alcohol Advertising to Teens, Alcopops and Teens, or Alcohol Advertising and Teens.

Posted by Susan Carney

It’s all over the news: 17 girls at a Massachusetts high school are pregnant, more than four times number the school had last year. The rumor was that at least some of these girls made some sort of “pact” to get pregnant at the same time.

Though that has yet to be verified, consider an additional aspect of the story. It was also reported that some of these girls made repeated trips to the school health clinic for pregnancy tests, and appeared disappointed when the results came back negative. When it was positive, they began to happily bond over discussions of baby showers and raising their children together.

None of these girls is older than sixteen.

I remember being sixteen. I thought I knew a lot more than I did, and believed that I could handle anything. But I also had dreams and plans that didn’t include getting pregnant in high school.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe these girls don’t aspire towards much beyond being a young mother. Maybe they are looking for a purpose, maybe they are looking for love and attention, or maybe they think a baby will be the answer to all of their problems. Or maybe this is some odd, extreme form of peer pressure whereby girls will make a decision that impacts not only their life but the life of their child, just to fit in with their friends.

Pact or no pact, it’s likely that these girls have underestimated the care, maturity, and sacrifice required to raise a child. It isn’t all smiles, baby showers, and unconditional love. As any parent knows, taking care of a baby is hard work, and parenting a child to adulthood is a major commitment. I hope these girls have what it takes.

Posted by Susan Carney

You wouldn’t think that film companies would be allowed to promote PG-13 movies to little kids. But movies like “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” and “Iron Man” are already being pushed through advertising and merchandise intended for children as young as three.

How does that happen? Well, according to the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood, “while the Motion Picture Association of America claims it reviews marketing plans for every PG-13 movie, they focus primarily on the content of the ads, not whether or not the film advertised is appropriate for a younger audience.” (“CCFC to MPAA”, CCFC Website, May 2008). I guess that explains the Burger King Iron Man Kids Meal and other toy and food products tied into these and other upcoming violent action movies.

Being permitted to promote a product that is inappropriate for kids directly to kids as long as the content of the ad itself is appropriate…..how crazy is that? They might as well allow advertisers to target kids with advertising for tobacco and alcohol, too. No wait, we do allow that!

Clearly, changes are long overdue in how the film industry markets movies. The CFCC is sponsoring a letter writing campaign to echo a recent request from the FTC: that the MPAA ensure that films are marketed in ways that are consistent with their own ratings system. So far, that request has been denied.

It’s tough for parents to draw the line on violent movies when their kids see the images from such films emblazoned on everything from breakfast cereal to clothing to countless toys. Maybe if more parents made their feelings known, things would begin to change.

Participate in the CCFC’s letter writing campaign, and ask your friends and family to do the same.

Posted by Susan Carney

On the day of the democratic primary in my state, I took my 3 year old daughter to our polling place and let her push the big button that cast our vote for Hillary Clinton. I wanted my daughter to be a part of what I truly believed was going to be the eventual election of our first female president.

I imagined what the next eight years of my daughter’s life might be like, coming of age in an America where the most powerful job was held by a woman. My daughter would know nothing else. To her, it would seem perfectly logical that if a woman can be in charge of our country, then she can do anything. What impact might that have on her feelings about herself, what doors might that open for her? I was so excited about the possibilities. I so wanted that world for her.

I grew up in the seventies, and we girls were told we could do and be anything. But despite that message, I think many of us have felt that there were still limitations. The world didn’t always measure up to the one we were promised.

Listening to Senator Clinton's speech this weekend was bittersweet. Yes, the fact that she got as far as she did is such a step forward for our girls. But to come so close...and then to realize that the future I had imagined will not be. At least for now.

Posted by Susan Carney

The parents of a Florida kindergartener have accused his teacher of mental abuse after she allegedly humiliated the child, who is in the process of being identified with Asperger’s Syndrome. When the boy exhibited behavioral problems, the teacher sent him to the office. Upon his return, he was allegedly verbally skewered by his classmates, who were urged by his teachers to tell him what they didn’t like about him, followed by a vote to determine if he should remain in the class. The mother claims that the teacher proudly admitted all of this to her, yet she told a different story to school officials and investigators.

With all the talk about how kids bully other kids, it’s hard to imagine a scenario where five year olds are prodded by an adult to hurt another child’s feelings. I’m all for productive feedback: I regularly teach my three year olds how to assert themselves using “I statements” when someone does something they don’t like. Right now we are working on responses like “I don’t like it when you snatch my toy. Don’t do it again!” But lining up a whole classroom of kids and encouraging them to systematically belittle a special needs kindergartener seems to be both cruel and abusive, not only to this one little boy, but to all of the kids in the classroom.

Adults who work with kids need to recognize the power their words have. The power to help and to comfort, but also the power to hurt and destroy. And before we can expect kids to treat each other with respect and dignity, we have to demonstrate that ourselves. For more about how to do this, check out Providing a Safe Space For Kids.

Posted by Susan Carney

May 31 is World No Tobacco Day, so this is a great opportunity to talk to your kids about the health risks of smoking. There are a variety of reasons why kids start to smoke: peer pressure, boredom, depression, curiosity. In my opinion, targeted advertising is the number one factor.

The focus of this year’s event is the promotion of a complete ban on all tobacco advertising. According to the World No Tobacco Day website, “Globally, most people start smoking before the age of 18, with almost a quarter of those beginning before the age of 10.” I knew most kids started before age 18, and that was bad enough. But I never realized how many kids start even younger. Before age 10? If you don’t believe it, check out this video on the website. It’s a little hard to watch, but it certainly makes a point.

Yes, tobacco companies need our young people. When you market a product that essentially kills your customers, you need to recruit a new batch of customers on a regular basis. Since so few people take up the smoking habit as adults, kids are often an easy target.

Check out the World No Tobacco Day website for website and campaign and media materials you can use anytime, as well as a link to a really cool Tobacco-Free Youth Interactive website that shows the myriad ways tobacco is marketed to kids. For more info on this subject, you may also want to check out Teen Tobacco Prevention, Tobacco Advertising and Teens, and New Cigarette Targets Girls.

Posted by Susan Carney

We took our three year olds into Philadelphia on Saturday to visit the "Please Touch Museum", which, for those of you not from this area, is a mseum dedicated to kids 7 and under that offers a variety of exhibits that are completely hands-on and kid friendly.

Driving in from a far more rural area, entering the city is always a study in contrasts. My kids are spellbound by the tall buildings, the trains, the river, the Philadelphia Zoo "Zoo Balloon" that hovers gently over the expressway as we speed past. My daughter spots the radio towers each time, and we still laugh about the trip into the city when our son turned his head and shouted excitedly, "There's more city on this side!"

We love that they are so easily thrilled, and so eager to learn and absorb new things. We know there is a day in the future when we will probably have two sullen teenagers sitting in the back seat during any mandatory family trip. They will likely be hooked up to their ipods and tuning everything else around them out. But we are trying our best to keep that day as far in the future as we can. We want them to be engaged, interested, and involved.

We try to capitalize on any opportunity to point out something different and unusual, to involve them in discussions, to ask their opinions, to expand their horizons. We believe that exposing them to the world around them, both the unusual and the everyday, is what will help to keep their curiosity alive. We know there is always "More on this side!" and we can't wait for them to experience it.

Posted by Susan Carney

When my husband and I pick our kids up from daycare, we often stand outside and peer through the window to watch the kids for a few minutes before entering the classroom. We like observing them, unseen, to see how they interact with the other kids when they don’t know we're watching. As they get older, this becomes more difficult. Even if they don’t spot us, it isn’t long before one of their classmates spies us and rushes over and loudly announces our presence.



Yesterday we saw something that disturbed us. Our son walked over to a little girl and deliberately stepped on her foot. It surprised us because he is generally such a loving, gentle little boy. But here he was, purposely being mean to another child who was standing there minding her own business.



The jig was up when we told him that we had seen what he did and told him how disappointed we were in his behavior. We walked him through the steps of apologizing to the little girl (who, quite frankly, didn’t even seem to remember the incident). It would have been easy to just let this whole situation slide, but we are painfully aware that we are trying to raise two kids to be kind and considerate people in a world that sometimes seems to have forgotten what it means to have a strong character, to care about others, and to take responsibility for your mistakes.



These are hard lessons, and ones that will take many years to teach. But we have to start young, and we have to be painfully consistent. Kids need to know what we find unacceptable, and they need to understand how to make amends when they have wronged someone.