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Posted by Susan Carney Jul 25, 2008 |
Researchers from the Yale University School of Medicine recently reviewed research on bullying behavior from 13 countries, and found not only a link between suicidal thoughts and bullying victims, as would be expected. They also found a link between suicidal thoughts and bulliers, as well. (Tara Parker-Pope, "With Bullying, Suicide Risk for Victims and Tormentors", NY Times, July 18, 2008).
These findings appear to me to be evidence of what I have always believed: that most kids who bully other have significant problems of their own, of which bullying is just one component. Its tempting to just say, “oh, he’s just a rotten kid.” But it may be more important to ask, “What’s going on with him that’s making him behave that way?
Bullies may be the victims of bullying themselves. They may have significant home issues which impact their ability to develop satisfying social relationships with other kids. They may have poor role models for how to handle conflicts. They may have problems with depression or anxiety, or suffer from undiagnosed learning problems. Whatever.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that when kids have unaddressed issues, it often impacts their self-esteem and sense of power. And for many kids, feeling powerless and bad about yourself are the two main ingredients that make a bully. I don’t believe that it is the bullying per se that may be causing kids to be suicidal. Rather, bullying and suicidal ideation are probably side effects of other, deeper problems that need to be addressed. In any case, it certainly means that we need to do a better job of helping our kids, before they feel the need to resort to either.
For more on bullying prevention, please see Bullying in Schools or Strategies to Prevent Bullying, or Bullying and Teens.