General Ideas on What is "Good"

We often wish the best for youth. Our vision of what is best, positive or "good" may be so vague that even we have no idea what we mean.

During training to be certified in Advancing Youth Development, participants are asked to think of a loved one who is a child and/or student and imagine what you would write them in a letter if you had to tell them your wish for them. Almost always, participants think of their own children or a relative who they care for deeply. They write of wishes for their young relative to stay away from drugs, make wise choices and be nice to others. Never do they wish for them to feel pain or suffer hardship.

Once the participants write their "Dear Little..." letter, they are always asked what went into coming up with their letter. Often, participants share that they have written things they wished they had had a chance to say but maybe never got around to sharing.

As professionals, we have at our disposal opportunities almost every day to interact with young people who view us (hopefully) as credible examples of what adulthood is. While we interact with them, we have the power to convey messages-- through actions and words.

I feel that a lot of times we have a general idea of what a "positive" or "good" example or wish is for the youth to follow, but it usually is so vague and rarely speaks to showing how to get to that ideal. We want a child to stay away from drugs but don't offer roadmaps when they may live within a drug-infested community or be bombarded with offers to use drugs daily.

I encourage everyone who reads this blog to become more invested in speaking outside of generalities and to become more intent when making suggestions or modeling "good" behavior to be able to provide specifics to youth on how to reach their own sense of ideal. Often, that has little to do with avoiding something entirely, but it requires arming youth with information to make their own decisions based on their own sense of value and criteria.

When I was training to be AYD certified, my Dear Little letter included my hope that my daughter develop her sense of intuition by listening to her inner voice and trusting that above the wishes of her peers. I wished for her that she would demonstrate love for herself by speaking kind words to herself behind closed-doors and otherwise and understand that loving others begins with loving self. I would hope that these wishes for her would lead to being drug-free and not pregnant as a teen, however, if her choices lead her to taking on responsibility early or suffering hardship as a young person, I hope that she will recognize the supports she has around, if solely herself, to strengthen her resilience.