A lack of social skills and empathy makes kids more prone to get involved in bullying behavior.
Dealing with bullying can be a tricky thing for those of us who work with kids. We want to believe that kids are telling us the truth, but often we are faced with two very different versions of the same story. Kids respond to real or perceived slights with a rude comment, a more offensive statement is made in response, and the cycle escalates. Each student may perceive that they are being “bullied” because they believe that their comments were justified, but their feelings are hurt because of the comments made to them.
Kids are also dealing with a limited ability to see things from another person’s perspective. They are still working on developing empathy, so its not surprising that comments are often made that make adults wince. In addition, our popular culture normalizes criticism and ridicule. It’s also often a large task to get kids to accept responsibility. When confronted, kids can look you straight in the eye and deny their behavior, or even more frustrating, give you some version of the “he called me something first,” excuse.
To add to the problem, much of the bullying that goes on between kids is covert, done outside the presence of adults. We wind up relying on the student’s version of what happened, which may be muddled at best. Without sharp investigative skills and lie detectors, its often tough to tease out what really happened.
So what can we do? Check out Bullying and Teens for information on how to educate kids about Bullying Prevention.
