Madison and Ryan get off the school bus and drop their backpacks in the kitchen, where they grab snacks before heading for their rooms. She spends the next hour instant messaging with the girls she just saw on the bus. He slaughters animated aliens. Later, they're both in front of the TV, doing a little homework during the commercials.
Neither child's teacher will call their parents. They're both doing "okay" in school – they're bright kids who pass their tests and get most of their assignments in on time. What their teachers don't know, though, is that both of them could be doing so much better.
Organizational Skills
Organization doesn't come naturally, and the conflict between concentration and distraction can be a lifelong struggle. The earlier children acquire organizational skills, the easier they will find it to succeed in both school and in their chosen careers. While it is best to start teaching these skills while children are in elementary school, it is never too late to begin. Adults can change their own lives by mastering organizational skills.
The key to organization is prioritization – learning how to put the things that provide ongoing satisfaction before the things that provide immediate satisfaction. One's natural inclination is to do whatever feels good, now. Success requires taking a longer view.
The Route to High Achievement
Parents need to know what their children's teachers expect will be done at home, and a parent-teacher conference is a good way to begin. Many assignments and tests follow regular schedules, and major projects will be planned well in advance. Still, constant reminders by parents do not help children develop the self regulation that marks the best students. Even children in the early grades can learn to use day planners, preferably the kind that show a week at a time. The best students look beyond what is due the next day, and get an early start on study or assignments they will need later.
An especially helpful household rule for modern children is "no screens of any kind before homework is done." Once in a while, children may need to access the internet or watch a television show for a school assignment, but far more often homework involves books, notes, pens, and paper.
Weather permitting, some outdoor play before homework begins always is a good idea. Bike riding, shooting hoops, building a fort in the backyard, or a game of hopscotch will help a child relax and decompress after a long day spent behind a school desk.
Since the best students are the best readers, helping children develop the habit of reading for pleasure may be the best thing a parent can do. Once children acquire basic reading skills, allowing them to keep the light on and read for a while after their "official" bedtime probably will do the trick.
Recognizing and Rewarding Improvement
It is never enough just to set rules and "enforce" them. For good practices to become good habits – to become automatic, not dependent on parental pressure -- those good practices must be reinforced. The best reinforcement a parent can offer is recognition and appreciation. Children like to be told when they are doing a good job, and making their parents proud.
Far too often, children gain adult attention primarily when they misbehave. Parents and other caregivers must train themselves to notice good behavior, and show their approval. In time, the natural reinforcers of good grades and school success will take over, and their children will have acquired habits and skills that will serve them well the rest of their lives.
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