Try these activities for strengthening communication between kids and adults.
Many adults complain that they have a hard time getting kids to talk to them about what is going on in their lives. They make attempts to communicate with their teen, but often feel shut out. Teens often report that they feel awkward or uncomfortable sharing intimate details with parents and other adult caretakers. How can we bridge this communication gap?
Choose the Right Time and Place
Sometimes conversation is easiest when it is a “sidebar” of another activity. Try talking while cooking or doing chores, or while working on a project together. Car rides, dinner time, and before bed are great opportunities too, especially for younger children. Some kids might be more comfortable with the distance that talking on the phone provides, or prefer leaving and reading notes for each other.
Get Creative
It often feels “weird” to teens to sit face to face with a parent (or any adult) and talk about what’s going on in their lives. You might have to shake things up a bit to lessen the awkwardness and make the experience less threatening.
Try these ideas:
- Share a journal. It is sometimes easier for kids to write down how they are feeling than to speak out loud. It gives them time to reflect and choose their words more carefully. Use the journal to take turns writing notes to each other. You can start out talking about everyday experiences, and work up to discussing more difficult issues.
- Share one thing. This strategy is ideal for times when the whole family is together, like car trips or mealtimes, but can be used one on one or in journals, too. Someone starts off by picking the topic, and each person is asked to “share one thing”. Ideas can range from the ordinary (“Share one thing that made you smile today” or “Share something nice that you did for someone else today.”) to the more personal (“Share something you worried about today” Or “Share something that disappointed you today,” for example) as comfort levels increase.
- Sentence stems. Use your imagination with starters like, “If I had a million dollars I would” “If I could change one thing in the world, it would be,” or “My most prized possession is,” for example.
Tips to Remember
If you hit on something and the conversation starts to flow, let it. Don’t try to direct or push; let your kids control where the discussion goes. In the beginning, the fact that they are sharing is more important than what they share. Make sure you are responding to them in a loving and caring way. Rushing to judgment, overreaction, trivializing, or dispensing unwanted advice will stop communication cold. Let kids get comfortable with the talking process and your reaction to their disclosures before you press into areas that may be a little more personal or risky.
You may also enjoy Youth Discussion Activities or Developing Empathy in Kids.
