Nipping the Drama in the Bud
Teach youth they don't have to create drama to get attention
Sep 28, 2006
Most youth workers have had a young person at one time who considers them a confidante. The young person may share information that is not only seemingly personal, but, at times, cause for genuine concern.
When a young person discloses information that informs you of physical abuse or neglect, then, as a professional who works with young people, it is most likely mandated by law for you to report what you hear to the appropriate government agency-typically a department of social services and/or child welfare.
Apart from those instances of emergency where mandatory reporting is necessary, come situations where a young person may begin to share information on top of information-- sometimes with the intent of garnering attention that they feel they would not receive without surrounding dramatic circumstances. Below are some handy tips to recognizing the drama and how to respond appropriately without hurting feelings or disrupting your role as a youth worker. The goal is for the young person to ultimately understand that attention does not have to equal drama, drama, drama. Young people who thrive under attention derived from creating unnecessary drama often become adults who do the same if not re-routed early on.
Don't Take it Personal
Think of the young person who tells you the dramatic tale of his mother who is on her deathbed and the father who was assassinated by the German mafia. Think of how you feel when you later find that it was all made up. Does it make you angry and upset?
Most likely a young person who does not feel valued by being his ordinary self is more apt to create a reality where they are the star and they are to be the receiver of attention. Don't take it personal. Rather than take offense at the falsehood, investigate and learn more of the circumstances surrounding this young person.
Do Your Detective Work
Is this young person the youngest of a large family who has to scrap for attention? Is this young person an only child who struggles to get attention from his parents? Is this young person someone with a rich imagination who does not know of the different outlets where his creativity would come in handy? Once you identify the circumstances, explore ways to redirect the young person's creativity.
Be Upfront-You Know the Truth
Let the young person know, gently, that you know that their stories aren't true and let them know upfront that they don't have to create drama for you to listen and be there for them. Convey that you appreciate them just as they are.
Khadijah Ali-Coleman is founder of So Our Youth Aspire (S.O.Y.A.), LLC and a freelance writer.
