On the closing evening of Survivor:Fiji, the contestant Dreamz (cheerleading coach Dre Herd) had to choose between keeping his word to give up the immunity necklace or to “play the game,” keep the necklace, and renege on an agreement. After all he had said about setting an example for his young sons, about the importance of doing the right thing and keeping his integrity, he not only chose to keep immunity for a shot at a million dollars, he said that everyone else lied and cheated, so it was okay if he did, too.
What price integrity?
Dreamz is only 25 years old, and it might be said that he’s young, it’s to be expected. That argument can be countered with his own words: he wanted to do right for his sons. He knew that keeping his word was important, but he sold out for a chance for a million dollars. And it was a slim chance at that - somehow it didn’t dawn on him that the jury might turn against him because of his decision.
As parents, teachers and youth leaders, how do we instill this critical value in our children? How do we teach honor and integrity?
- Set an example. If a store clerk gives you incorrect change, give it back. If you dent another car in a parking lot, leave a note to let the owner know. If you make a commitment, keep it, no matter how inconvenient it turns out to be. And let the kids see you doing these things!
- Walk them through the steps. Help them take back the candy bar they pocketed in the store. Go with them to apologize to a neighbor for picking flowers without permission. Insist they follow through with a date, a volunteer commitment, an appointment, even when they find better things to do.
- Tell stories. As you drive, as you roast marshmallows, as you eat dinner, tell the kids stories of people living with integrity. Tell how you had to admit to breaking a window, and worked all summer earning the money to pay for it. Tell how a grandparent worked for $5.00 a day to support their family, and was glad for the opportunity to work instead of receiving handouts.
- Discuss current events. Find examples of community leaders acting with integrity. Talk about how easy or hard it was for this person to keep his word. Help the kids see what would happen if the person did or did not keep his commitments. Help them see the negative long term consequences of breaking their word, even if the results seem good at the beginning.
If Dreamz had kept his word on Survivor, he probably would have been voted out that night. But he would have stood for something, in the eyes of both his son and the world. He would have been known for years as someone to whom character is more important than money. Can you imagine him, honor and integrity intact, speaking at schools across the country, showing students what’s really important in life? What an example he could have been to young people making their own life choices. Instead, he’ll always be known as the guy who sold out.
