Resiliency: dominion vs domination
Tips for practicing dominion over domination
Youth can become resilient when they identify their root of pain and accept what has happened without lingering in the pain and negativity, ultimately acting out.
Youth workers can assist youth in developing skills in resiliency by helping them understand the difference between seeking domination over their environment and seeking dominion -- working in tandem positively with their environment.
Often, it is hard to practice and promote the concept of dominion if faced with one crisis after another. Loss of a relative, freedom, belonging, opportunity, friend, etc. is often the most common crisis urban youth experience. This crisis is often the one that makes it most hard to bounce back from without acting out negatively. Below are some tips to promoting the principle of dominion and helping youth build resiliency:
Help them Identify- Youth should be encouraged to identify what is at the root of their anger and be able to freely vent without fear of censure or judgement. Identifying the root of anger and pain helps to establish ways to address it and ultimately heal.
Teach Acceptance- Help youth understand and accept that what has happened has happened, and it can not be changed. Our response to it, however, can be something that can be controlled by us. Acceptance is very difficult to promote with a young person who has lost a loved one or something else very precious to them. Often, in their mind, the only solution is revenge. It is wise to listen when a young person speaks of revenge, but carefully bring up what the consequences of revenge are. Suggest alternatives to vengeful acts by asking the young person "What is something that can be done out of love or remembrance for this person rather than out of anger and fear?" When encouraged to come from a place that is not fearful or angry, young people develop ideas that are uplifting, tender and poignant.
Who are My "Top 5"-After identifying the root of anger, accepting what has happened and then developing responses that do not come from a place of fear or anger, youth are then ready to acknowledge their different areas of support. As a youth worker, you then will remind them to call on these support systems when they are in need to bounce back from a trying situation. An area of support could be a best friend, a journal, a favorite activity, a movie or song that makes them feel better, a special place or a personal mantra. A "Top 5" support should be something that is constructive, not destructive and promotes moving toward a positive place that recognizes the crisis that was but understands the present that offers endless possibilities.
