Random acts of violence, especially those that occur in a school setting, can have profound effects on kids and teens. Though events such as the shootings at Virginia Tech last spring and the more recent shootings at Delaware State are extremely rare, the fact that they are well-publicized in the media can make them seem more common and close to home. As a result, exposure to coverage of these events can leave students feeling vulnerable, confused, and powerless. Students whose lived have been personally touched by violent acts may experience even more intense reactions. How can you help students cope with the feelings these events bring up, and help kids maintain a feeling of safety?
Let them talk. Kids often need the time and space to vent their feelings. If they feel unsafe, let them share that. If they have fears for family members or friends, let them share that, too. For some kids, exposure to tragic events may trigger memories of their own experiences, and they may need time to talk about and process these events, as well.
Review safety plans. Make sure kids are aware of the safety plans that are in place at your school or agency. Understanding the procedures that have been developed to keep them safe is sometimes enough to give kids an extra measure of security. Through practicing fire, evacuation, lock-down, and other drills, kids will also take some of the ownership of keeping themselves safe, increasing their feelings of control over the situation.
Don’t make impossible promises. While you want to help students feel safe, avoid promising what can’t be delivered. Statements like, “It will never happen here,” aren’t helpful because kids know they aren’t true, and offering false statements to kids can cause them to doubt everything that you say.
Help put things in perspective. What you can do, though, is help kids see situations clearly. Yes, tragic events do happen, but the odds of any particular incident happening to them are quite small. Help them understand how repeated media coverage can make events seem more commonplace than they actually are.
Provide accurate information. Sometimes kids’ anxiety over a tragic event is largely due to misinformation. Give kids are much information as is appropriate for their age and maturity. Avoid the tendency to shield kids from the truth. Without accurate information, they are left to their own imagination, which will often produce a worse scenario than what actually happened. In addition, kids can easily access both information and misinformation on the internet other through other sources. Your presence can help kids sort through it all.
Empower kids. Help them brainstorm steps they can take to make themselves safer. What changes can they make in their own behavior that will make a difference? When you do this, you are helping kids develop a sense of power and control over the situation, which will help reduce their anxiety and fear.
You may also be interested in Developing Empathy in Kids, Strategies to Prevent Teen Bullying, or Teen Dating Violence.
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