Helping Kids Develop Social Communication Skills
Building Healthy Relationships Between Teens
Aug 10, 2008
Because kids are just learning skills such as empathy, sharing, taking another’s perspective, and reading body language, communication between them can be full of misperception and hurt feelings.
Problems in social communication can also impact kids’ ability to make and keep friends, because kids who don’t “act right” can be ignored or made fun of by other kids. Kids with social communication deficits are also at risk for behaving in unhealthy ways within relationships. They may have trouble asserting themselves, get into conflicts often, be easily swayed by peer pressure, or have difficulty being clearly understood or understanding others
As kids grow and develop, they will experience a variety of social situations that will test their ability to act in healthy and respectful ways. The following strategies may help kids and teens hone their developing social communication skills.
Modeling Social Behavior
Kids watch how you interact with others and look to you for cues. Modeling is an especially helpful learning tool for common but often awkward interactions, such as striking up a conversation at a party, confronting someone with a problem, or being assertive. Debrief afterward, explaining what you did and why to enhance learning.
Role Playing
It might seem corny, but rehearsing situations is one of the best ways for kids to prepare for the real thing. Role-playing provides the opportunity to practice thinking on their feet in a non-threatening situation. You can use any scenario you want: turning down a cigarette, asking someone out on a date, or offering help to someone, for example. To get the most out of the experience, allow kids to have a turn playing both parts.
Helping Kids Identify Social Cues
Reading body language, facial expressions, and gestures cues is second nature for most people. But for many kids, especially those with autism spectrum issues, trying to read these cues is like reading a foreign language. Their inability to do so often sticks out like a sore thumb and further sets them apart from their peers. Point out cues and help kids practice identifying possible messages. Don’t forget about vocal cues, too. Tone of voice, inflection, and pacing all add meaning to the spoken message, as well.
Questioning to Build Empathy
Kids often have a hard time seeing another’s perspective. Questioning gives them the opportunity to reflect on someone else’s point of view. For example, “For example, “What do you think it might mean when she makes that face?”, “Why do you think he might be turning away like that?” or “Why do you think he was upset by what you said?” Taking the time to stop and think this way help build empathy, a crucial skill for kids.
Providing Feedback
Observe how kids do in social situations, and share what you see with them. Accurate, honest feedback, both positive and negative, is crucial in helping them to identify areas where they need to improve. Rather than offering suggestions, see if the teen can come up with some alternatives independently.
Improving their social communication skills can help kids and teens feel more confident when interacting with both their peers and adults as well. Though these skills may take some time and effort to develop, the results are well worth it.
