Helping Kids Develop Coping Skills
The Next Step in Effective Emotional Management
Help kids learn how to cope with everyday issues by developing skills in communicating, problem solving, and relaxation.
Everyone faces problems and stressors. The question is how we respond to these issues. Kids who don’t have an available repertoire of coping skills can easily turn to rage, violence, or self harm when upset and vulnerable. On the other hand, when we work to help kids develop a full toolkit of positive coping skills, we give them alternatives that can help them turn problem situations into positive outcomes.
Talking it Out
Once you’ve helped kids learn how to express themselves, be sure to give them ample time and attention to do so. Unfortunately, many kids don’t get this at home. In the rush of everyday life, it’s easy to forget to make time to just “talk”. Often, that is exactly what kids are craving, though they usually won’t come out and ask for it. Talking gives kids practice in verbalizing feelings, helps them feel validated, and can serve as a springboard to problem solving. Help kids identify several people they feel comfortable discussing problems with. For kids who aren’t yet comfortable airing issues out loud, journaling can provide another outlet for confusing feelings. Sharing specific sections with you can help bridge the gap to verbal sharing.
Problem Solving
Another necessity for the toolkit is the ability to find solutions for his own problems. Problem solving can be as simple as sitting down together and brainstorming a list of possible solutions to the given situation. Ask kids what they’ve tried before in similar situations, and what outcomes they experienced. Ask them to predict likely consequences, both positive and negative, for each possibility. Make a list of options together, and then let teens choose the one they’d like to try. Check back frequently to process how the solution is or isn’t working, and help modify as necessary. The goal here is for kids to learn to feel confident about solving their own problems.
Stress Relievers
You can also help kids find ways to relax that fit their personality and interests. Teens who have positive stress relievers are less likely to turn to activities like overeating, smoking, drinking, and sex to self-medicate or mask their pain. Some kids like quiet, relaxing activities like listening to music, drawing, or journaling. Others may prefer to be active – running, bicycling, building things. Different activities may be appropriate in different situations, so help them develop back up plans, as well. Help them try new things to see which work best for them, and put these in the toolkit as well.
These are just a few of the skills kids need in their “Coping Skills Toolkits". Check back often to see what we will add in the future! You may also be interested in Understanding Teen Depression or Preventing Teen Sexual Harassment.
