In Extreme Dieting and Plastic Surgery, we talked about cultural factors that can contribute to poor body image in young girls. As someone who works with and cares for kids, how can you support kids who may be dealing with this difficult issue?
Take a Look at Yourself. We need to begin by examining our own beliefs and attitudes about weight, dieting, and appearance. It’s also a good idea to develop awareness about how we convey, consciously or unconsciously, those attitudes to kids. Do you talk negatively about your body in front of them? That may lead them to look more closely for flaws of their own. Instead, let them hear you verbally appreciate things you like about your own body, especially those that have nothing to do with size.
Be a Good Role Model. Do you model healthy eating or constant dieting? You may be giving the message that restrictive eating is normal, even necessary behavior. Model healthy eating which includes, in moderation, all foods. Avoid the temptation to label food or eating habits in terms of “good” and “bad.” The use of such strong words can lead a girl to internalize feelings of guilt and shame when she does something as innocuous as eating a piece of cake.
Watch Your Mouth. Be aware of the messages you give about the value you place on appearance. When you meet a girl or woman, is your first comment about her looks? We are often completely unaware of the impact of comments like, “She’s such a pretty girl,” or “She’s such a tiny thing!” The message girls hear is “prettier and smaller is better.” Instead, practice taking notice of inner beauty, accomplishments, and strengths. Show girls that they are so much more than how they look.
Help Her Open Up. Help girls learn to feel comfortable expressing their feelings verbally. That includes all feelings, even the messy and unpleasant ones. Let her know that you appreciate her unique perspective and opinions. We often learn to use food to cope with unexpressed feelings. Help her learn more positive, constructive ways of managing her emotions.
Show Respect.Teach boys about the ways our society emphasizes physical beauty for women. Be sure to model for them speech and behavior that is respectful and accepting of all women, regardless of size or appearance. This is an especially powerful message when it comes from men. Help them see the value of qualities other than physical ones in the women and girls in their lives.
Adolescent girls today often have much anxiety about their bodies and appearance. While you can’t control the culture we live in, you can offer the girls you know tools to help them filter out some of the damaging messages they receive. Check back later for other tips and ideas regarding this critical issue.
Also check out The Truth About Girl Power, and Encouraging Female Friendships.
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